Nanay Nedy

It has been exactly one week since you took your last breath, and it is still so hard to believe that you are no longer with us physically. But deep in my heart, I know that you will always be with us, in our hearts, in our memories, and in everything you have taught us.

This afternoon will be the first time we see you again since you left us. Our hearts are still broken, and the pain of losing you is still so difficult to put into words. But amidst the sadness, we find comfort in knowing that you lived a happy, beautiful, and fulfilled life surrounded by the love of your family.

This is scary!

No definite pathway. No clear answers. It feels like every option leads to another question.

But I'm choosing to believe that uncertainty doesn't mean the end of the road. Sometimes it simply means I'm standing at the beginning of a new chapter that I can't see yet.

I'm praying for a positive beginning, for doors to open at the right time, and for the strength to keep moving forward, one step at a time. 

Feeling Overwhelmed

Lately, my mind has been flooded with worries, and I feel the need to let some of it out. Otherwise, I might just break under the pressure.

What weighs heaviest is my visa situation. It’s ending soon, and I don’t see a clear path forward to stay. It’s terrifying to think that everything I’ve worked so hard for could disappear just like that. I’m not ready to go home yet, not without savings, not without achieving at least one of my goals, like renovating our home to make it more livable and presentable. But I know I can’t do it alone. Financially, I’m drained. I can’t even enjoy small luxuries because every dollar counts, and needs always come before wants now.

There’s also the uncertainty about work. Will I ever find another job as good as this one, with people who are genuinely kind and supportive? If only I could be sponsored then I wouldn’t hesitate to stay. I really like my current company, and leaving it behind would be hard.

Being Grateful

Every morning when I wake up, and every night before I go to sleep, I make it a point to thank the Lord. I’m grateful for the gift of a new day, for the countless blessings that come my way, for the guidance I receive, and for the love and support of my family and friends. Truly, I am thankful for everything in my life.

Recently, I received wonderful news about my promotion. It feels amazing to be recognized, and although more is expected of me now, I welcome the challenge wholeheartedly. Work has become busier, but I genuinely enjoy the pace and the constant opportunity to learn something new. This experience reminds me that hard work truly does pay off.

Month full of life - MAY

May has always been special to me—not just because it's my birth month, but because it’s filled with moments that mean a lot. This month, we remember Grandpa on his death anniversary, celebrate my partner’s birthday, our anniversary, and my nephew's birthday. So much to be grateful for.

Life has been a whirlwind lately—but in the best way possible. I recently got promoted, and honestly, I didn’t see it coming. It feels amazing to be recognized, and I’m beyond thankful that my hard work is finally paying off.

Now that my partner is finally here with me, we've been binge-watching series together—something we really missed during the long-distance days. It’s such a simple thing, but it brings so much joy.

2nd month of 2025

February is almost over—time flies so fast!

Just a quick update: My partner is finally with me, and we are home—home in each other's arms. I’ve always believed that home is where your heart feels happy and loved.

After being apart for so long, we're still in the adjustment phase. Nearly six years is a long time, and a lot has changed—our perspectives, our decision-making—but we’re making it work. It’s all about finding our balance.

Lately, we've been bonding over food, exploring new places, and embracing new adventures.

Happy New Year! 🎉 Cheers to 2025!

Wishing you all the best in the year ahead. Things are a bit hectic on my end right now, but I’ll be back soon with more updates. Stay tuned! 😊

Love: The Rollercoaster Ride

Love is no walk in the park—it’s hard work, plain and simple.

It’s unpredictable. One moment, you’re in tears, and the next, you’re laughing so hard your stomach hurts. Love has a way of making you feel every emotion, even the ones you never knew existed.

Love can leave you undecided, torn between choices. It can make you stronger, yet it teaches you to be gentle. Love has a funny way of making you feel foolish sometimes, pushing you to do things you never imagined you were capable of.

It’s a wild rollercoaster ride—full of ups and downs, twists and turns.

Maybe the secret isn’t to fight it or overthink it, but to embrace it. Enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts.

Are We Drifting Apart?

Why do I feel like we’re no longer on the same page?

Are we slowly drifting away from each other?
Do small things always have to spark such big anger?
Do I even still know you?

I’m starting to grow tired of our fights. What seems monumental to you feels like something we could simply talk through to me.

Is this the cost of loving an overthinker?

Everyone knows I love with all my heart. But if you can’t see or feel it, maybe it’s because I love in the only way I know how.

We’re too old to keep arguing. Instead, shouldn’t we focus on finding solutions and cherishing the moments we have together?

Hormones change are not fun

I’m at that stage in life where my hormones have decided to go through major changes. I often feel weak, and it seems like I'm always getting sick.

Turning the big 4-0 brought some serious, unexpected shifts. My vision has become blurry, and it feels like every part of my body aches—especially my knees, joints, back, and shoulders. My metabolism has taken a hit too, slowing down drastically.

Since I’m a bit of a late bloomer, I’m just now starting to build my career in the corporate world. My colleagues are younger, full of energy, and while I keep my age private, I just want to be seen as an equal, not as someone "older" or weaker.

It’s honestly not easy working alongside younger people with such stamina while I’m doing my best to keep up. These hormonal changes make it even tougher, as I often show up to work not feeling my best, just hoping to get through the day without any issues.

My periods have become irregular, and it’s definitely frustrating. I’m sharing this as a way to express what I’m going through, and I really hope this menopausal journey can be a bit kinder to me.

Something new

There's a lot of happenings. We are already on the second half of the year. I just want to give an update that I am already working in a better company. Better than what I had previously. Happy to say I am happy with my job. Nice colleagues and friendly environment. I got to learn new things everyday. 

Also, my partner will be coming back soon to visit. Hopefully stay in the future. 

I also started Pilates and so far I like it. It is fun, tiring and challenging. Hopefully I can keep doing it. 

That's it for now. lol

Just like that, 2023 is almost over

How time flies so quick. Just like that we are already at the end of the year. There's so many memories this year have given me. This is the year I get to go home and the year my partner gets to visit me. I have an empty wallet but my heart is full. I'll always be grateful with the blessings that I am receiving. Thankful for the people around me. I have met so many friends and the real ones still remains. Thank you 2023 for all the adventure and experience you have given me. I am ready for you, 2024! Bring it on! 

Advance Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of us!

No perfect couple exist!

I always believe that there is no perfect couple. They may look perfect and no arguments at all. But trust me... there will be no perfect relationship. It is the hard work of each other that make it look perfect. It is normal that a couple fight, argue and does not agree on one thing. What's important is that at the end of the day, they never stop fighting for each other. They will set aside their differences and come up with a decision that is best for both of them. Love usually wins.

It is accepting the imperfection in your partner that make a couple perfect. 

Is Love worth fighting for?

When you're in a new relationship everything feels like heaven. It's all happiness and loved. You feel like there's always a butterfly within you that wants to make you sing and dance. That feeling that you both understand what you need and you don't. Everything in your lives are synchronised. Almost perfect!

Until it's already long enough that you starts to feel that you are worthless, voiceless, not respected, and useless! It hurts so much that you felt that with the person whom you love the most. You can not speak your mind as it will be misunderstood the wrong way. Everything you say have comments and sometimes you just don't like to speak as to avoid giving false meaning but it will also be taken against you! 

I do not know what to do. Will it still be worth the fight?

Keep a good heart

There are people who just gets in your nerve. People that does not care of anyone's feeling. I hate them! There are times that I wanted to be as rude as them but I choose not too. It's not me. I love helping people even if they don't care. Imagine if we help each other, the world will be a better place,  No matter what happens, always keep a good heart. Do not let the darkness in this world take the goodness in you. 

What excites you, drives you.

If you have a goal, no matter how hard you work you will not complain. Why? Because you are focus on reaching that dream. You will do everything you can just to make sure that you reach that goal! 

You are happy doing the hard work as you know some day you will be getting that dream. 

I read this somewhere: "Great things never came from comfort zones". I truly believe this. You need to work hard for what you want and what you deserve. If you stay within your comfort zone, you will not grow. 

Cheers! 

Reaching goals

How do you really reach your goals? 

Do you really need to plan for it? Do you really need to do it step by step? Can we just focus on the outcome, like you have a goal that you want to achieve but you still prefer to go with the flow of life but you make sure you reach your goal no matter what. 

Which one best works for you? 

Building Networks

It is really important to widen your network. The more connection you have the better it is. 

But make sure that you get the people who have a positive outlook in life, people that can help you to become your better self. 

You can be good at everything but trust me, you will always need someone to help you. 

It's not that hard to start expanding your connection, a simple Hi/ Hello would do the trick. 

Remember, It's not what you know, it's who you know matters.

Spread Kindness

Everyone has their own story. Most people that show happiness is just a mask. What they really feel deep inside is far from what they are showing the world. Show kindness. It's free! You might be the next person's hope. Cheer up. It's not always a bad day. 

I always believe that when you show kindness to someone they will spread it and the world will be a better place. Start within, start now. Spread Kindness! 

Be positive

I know there are times that one wish to give up. The life, love, opportunities and everything they have as they felt they are being forgotten and taken for granted. I've been here. I know the feeling and it is not a nice feeling at all. 

Sometimes you just need to look into things differently. There are times that it is your own self causing you all the trouble you are experiencing. Try to look differently. I always believe there is a reason for everything. If it doesn't work the way you wanted, it might be because there is better things for you. 

If you start to look for positivity in all you do, everything will follow. Everything will be fine. Start believing in yourself. Life is good. Just enjoy!